WITHDRAWAL CONVERSATIONS

(reasons below)

How have the lessons been going? (This is a very general question to open up the conversation. Asking it in this way leaves the answer open-ended and forces them to answer with more detail than just a “yes” or a “no” answer).

  • How long have you been considering withdrawing? (This question can help open the floor to discuss the normal slumps that can happen in any learning process, which are not a reason to withdraw. It can also give you a clue into whether or not the teacher has been able to make adjustments to try and resolve any issues in the lessons).

  • What are some things you would like to see happen differently in the lessons? What is it that the student doesn’t enjoy about lessons anymore? (These questions can give you an idea of what is really going on in the lesson and what might really be the reasons for withdrawing. Asking the question this way can get the student/parent thinking that there are other options/solutions besides withdrawing. It can also give you some insight into what suggestions to give the teacher to help reverse this withdrawal). 

  • What conversations have you had with the teacher about this? What options have you discussed with the teacher? (Most students have not talked to their teacher about withdrawing. We need to change their mindset about this! They should be discussing this with the teacher - first, because the teacher is the person who can do something about it, and second, because it is a lot harder for them to face the teacher and say they are going to withdraw then to just talk to us and have us tell the teacher, so they will think twice about their decision). 

  • What goals would you like to reach before stopping lessons? Are there any goals that you feel have not been achieved yet? (They first signed up for lessons for a reason. Perhaps they have lost sight of that reason, or perhaps they feel that the goal they originally had has not been reached or they are not on the right track toward achieving that goal. Bringing this up could help them remember their reasons for taking lessons, could open up the floor to discuss the learning process and how it’s not something that happens overnight so they shouldn’t give up now, and can give you ideas of the type of suggestions to give the teacher).


When do you plan on returning to lessons? (You can use this question as a final attempt at convincing them by explaining that playing an instrument is like using a muscle. You do start to lose your ability to play, and you can create bad habits when you do not have guidance and try to play on your own without having enough experience and technique training. It’s not quite like riding a bike - it takes time to get back into it and build up those skills again after taking a break. Also, if they plan on returning in the near future, remind them that they have to pay the registration fee again and they will lose their make up passes - so it is in their best interest to either continue lessons or at least go on hold to prevent those things from happening).

WITHDRAWAL REASONS

  • Student is no longer interested

  • The main thing we want to get across here is that it is completely normal for students to have periods of lower interest, to go through slumps in practicing and in their lessons. Quitting is not the answer! Students who quit when the going gets tough often regret it later on, and as adults! We get so many adult students who say “I wish I would have stuck with it!” Students who stick with it more often than not come out on the other end even more passionate about their instrument. 

  • There are other options besides quitting!

    • Recalling the reasons for starting lessons in the first place

    • Reviewing and perhaps adjusting short-term and long-term goals

    • Trying something new in lessons that the student hasn’t done before (exploring new music genres, new techniques, new skills like improv, songwriting, sight reading, etc…)

    • Discussing with the teacher how to make lessons/practice time more exciting

    • Getting involved in recitals, Level Up, even finding performance opportunities outside of lessons (going to a nursing home to perform, playing guitar around a campfire, playing at an event or at church…)

    • Trying out another instrument or another teacher

  • Student is too busy

    • Are they too busy to find time to practice or too busy to even come to lessons? Nobody is too busy to come just once a week to lessons, and even if they are, there are other solutions besides quitting! They can do a different time in the schedule, Zoom lessons, video lessons...we have so many other alternatives to quitting! Being “too busy” is one of two things: too high of practice expectations and not giving it priority because they do not really enjoy it as much as something else. 

    • Other options besides quitting:

      • Discussing practice expectations with the teacher 

      • Incorporating more things into lessons that do not require a lot of practice time (re-visiting old pieces, music appreciation, music history, music theory, sight reading, ear training, improv, songwriting, etc)

      • Working music into the daily routine you already have - listening to songs from the music appreciation playlist when you are in the car, watching a video lesson instead of watching a youtube video while you are in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, doing breathing exercises during your work break, etc.

  • Student is too young

    • Unless the student is 2 years old, they are not too young for music lessons. This is a blanket statement for many other reasons (the student is having a hard time focusing, the student can’t understand new concepts or is having trouble following the teacher during lessons, the student has a lot of energy and can’t sit still during lessons or during practice, the student is bored during lessons because it isn’t fun enough, etc)

    • The first question to ask is how old is the student? If the student is between the ages of 3-5, then they may be too young for playing their instrument, but they are not too young for AAM! 

    • It is also very important to find out why the parent thinks the student is too young. Why are they saying that? What have they seen that has made them think the student is too young?

    • Other options besides quitting:

  • Student is not practicing

    • There are two main points to address here - first, that lack of practice is normal and is not a hindrance to continuing with lessons. Second, working closely with the teacher to develop practice strategies and adjust expectations is far better and makes much more sense than quitting!

    • There are benefits to music lessons beyond simply learning an instrument! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rfZNT2D-hmnCB2OOHov_wK5ci4PjRfPsst9MxoPe9dU/edit?usp=sharing

    • Often, students don’t practice because they don’t know how, their parents don’t know how to help them, or their/their parents’ practice expectations are much higher than they need to be. It is important to find out how much the student is practicing, what their practice expectations are, and have they discussed this with their teacher.

    • Parents often don’t know how to motivate their children to practice. Here are some helpful tips and suggestions: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uOsKCqmJAJyhN59bj8AbEMBEo16QGnKNv1VMZPiWOoI/edit?usp=sharing

    • Adult students can think outside the box as far as what constitutes practice! In busy seasons, other practice ideas include: dusting off an old song that you don’t have to work too hard at, listening to songs from the music appreciation playlist during your commute, requesting a video lesson and watching it while waiting in line at the grocery store, doing singing techniques in your car during your work break, etc.

    • There ARE things teachers/students can do in lessons that do not require a ton of practice time! They can work on ear training, sight reading, improvisation, music theory, music history, etc! Not being able to practice is no reason to quit!

    • Other options that are better than quitting:

      • Discuss the students’ difficulties in practicing with the teacher and come up with some strategies together

      • Communicate with the teacher that it is a time where the student needs less practice expectations, and lesson focus needs to rely less on whether/not the student practiced. 

      • Remind the parent/student that music lessons are much more broad than just learning the techniques of an instrument or learning songs on an instrument! There are so many benefits to just coming to lessons, and so many more topics that can be addressed and learned in lessons than just technique and songs!

      • Perseverance when the going gets tough is a huge part of learning music, as well as learning anything in life! 

  • Financial Reasons

    • This can be a tough situation, because we can feel like it’s something we can’t argue with or are afraid of upsetting the person we are speaking with if we try to convince them to stay. It is important to keep in mind that the reason is most likely not merely financial, and that the reason they are choosing other activities over music is because something else has been more exciting than their lessons.

    • The best approach is one of compassion and understanding, but also truly believing that music lessons are the best thing they could have in their lives, and that you care about these people so much that you would hate for them to lose something as valuable as music lessons. 

    • Use phrases like “I hate to see you (your child) miss out on all the benefits of music lessons. What is something different you would like to see in the lessons that would make it more valuable to you?” or “I hate to think your child is going to miss out and lose the progress he/she has been making! Have you been making the most out of all the resources we have to offer? It really is a GREAT value for the price you are paying!”